This week I wrote a blog post that was a response to Dr. Adam Grant’s CBS Sunday Morning segment about meditation. There were so many things that struck me about that segment that I felt compelled to respond. And there is more that I would like to write about cultivating the leadership experiences that we would like to have.

As a former clinical researcher and endlessly curious person, I find the advice and research regarding thriving to be really interesting, and enjoyable. Also, as a person who supports the development of those in leadership roles, I take it as part of my responsibility to know as much about thriving in the workplace as humanly possible.

But at the end of the day, here is the only question that really matters: Is what you are doing with your life and how you are being in your life getting you the results that you actually want?

You see we often search and search, looking for a big “how” without considering our “what” and “why.” What do we want to experience? And how does that fit into our deepest why? Once we get clear about those two very important details, the “how” sorts itself out.

Allow me to give you an example.

I work with a lot of leaders who say that they want to be more organized. They want to feel like they have some sense of control over their day and that they can accomplish the really important tasks. Of course, this issue isn’t new to them, and they’ve often tried all of the latest productivity tips and tricks with limited success.

What is missing from the equation isn’t the “how” to stay organized; it’s the “why” to stay organized and then the “what” does that look like. What about being more organized fits into the greater “why” of your life?

A leader might respond with something like, “If I’m more organized, I won’t feel so stressed out every day.” Then the next question is, “And why does that matter to your life?”

Once we get clear on our intention and motivation, then we can explore the “how.” If you want to balance the energies of your life and your mindset to experience less stress, then maybe try meditating and journaling everyday. Or perhaps a great workout or a peaceful walk in nature will do the trick.

The key here is to find the thing that works for you and then do it, every day. Don’t skip around all over the place trying the latest and greatest. Dive into the experience fully, stick with it, and discover what truly works for you.