This week we are talking about what to do when we get stuck and how we avoid taking action and “drifts” (a.k.a finding false refuges and how this effects our leadership and our teams).
So we notice that we come home each night and watch Office Re-runs for or TV for 3 hours without much consciousness. The issue here is looking at cause and effect and my question is, what makes us want to watch 5 hours of Office re-runs a night in the first place? What causes us to bite our nails, buy more shirts than we need and stay up too late every night? And what about the drifts that our teams create such as breaking agreements, getting into drama and gossip?
Now in my world I call these actions “drifts”-meaning, drifting from presence. Dr. Tara Brach calls these false Refuges and I really like that and how she defines it. True refuge is being present to our moment-by-moment experience to be at home and experience peace (even when things aren’t going well). False refuges or drifts don’t deliver-they provide temporary relief at best and we need to do more of them more often to feel momentarily feel better. And anything can become this-exercising, for example.
Brene’ Brown has an interesting take on this and she talks about “normalizing discomfort”. Brene’ Brown is talking about the discomfort that comes with attempting something great and I think there is discomfort in NOT attempting something great. Which is what it feels like when we are stuck.
A great way to notice when we’re stuck is to also notice when we are drifting. Then we can take action and how to “unstuck” ourselves.
How do you shift out of being stuck? What are some of your drifts?