103: How To Share Our Opinions At Work Without Creating an Argument
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
-This week is all about being able to share our opinions, thoughts, judgments and feelings at work without feeling like we have to be right about any of them. This really fits in well with our previous shows on withholding . But let’s talk about what we mean by “withholding”. What do we mean and what are we withholding?
First, there are really only three things that we can pay attention to: things occurring in/on our bodies, outside of us and occurring in our minds which is where our “opinions” live. Katie also adds in the nuance about noticing what occurs between us. And we don’t typically reveal these things on our team or to our boss for a couple of main reasons; fear of retribution or fear of futility. Nevertheless, most of the time we are in what I would call “arguable” territory and we are holding onto it like we are right. However, when we withhold our opinions and thoughts, we also risk a major depletion of our our energy levels and satisfaction at work and a lack of success for the whole team. Mistakes are less identified by one person versus a group and working as a team is becoming more the norm for a very good reason. But how do we do it then? How do we share our opinions and thoughts on our team at work? Well, there is the practice of speaking unarguably which means, we share our feelings, our thoughts and what we notice without an air of feeling that we are “right” about our opinions but instead, acknowledge them as just something that is occurring.
• And here is a list of some practical tips:
• 1. Ask how feedback and thoughts are best shared; in the group, one-on-one?
• 2. Deliver “bad news” in person…not email!
• 3. Use only as many breaths as needed to get your point across; in other words, don’t be long-winded.
• 4. Appreciate what has been said beforehand that sparked the thought in you.
• 5. Two words: patience and empathy
We would love to know how you practice sharing your thoughts and opinions at work and what has worked well for you. How has the experience been for you?